Meltdown

Photo from WeddingByColor.com

Back from a brief hiatus....mostly because I was getting overwhelmed by all this wedding stuff and my real life was calling.  But, even with a blogging break, over the past week or so, I have had more than my fair share of wedding related meltdowns.

Today was the first time I think my fiance and I really realized how deep we were getting into the cost of this thing.  Although we set initial budgets and estimated our costs, the contract with our venue really put it in perspective...and neither one of us had fully come to terms with the price.  I think part of the issue is that we've been working within an unspecified budget.  Since both our parents are very generous and want us to both to be happy, they have been sometimes unwilling to commit a hard number.  After multiple attempts, I was finally able to get a specific number from my dad about how much he and my mom were comfortable pitching in, while my fiance's parents were more vague.  Initially this worked for us all, but as we start to book vendors and sign contracts, my fiance and I feel like it's all just sort of getting  away from us.  Since we're unsure how much over our firm number we can really go, we're hesitant to book anything at all because it might end up costing too much.  I think getting firm numbers as soon as you can is an essential step, so that you can cut your guest list or wedding package or change venues to get everything you want for the price you know you can afford to spend.

After a panic attack or two, and a few heated phone calls my fiance and I finally reality checked ourselves.  First of all, we reminded each other that we agreed not to get in fights with each other about this wedding, since initially we both wanted to run away with 50 friends and get married.  But, while neither one of us initially wanted a large wedding, we are grateful to have families that can afford to give us that type of wedding.  And both of our parents want to celebrate with their friends and ours'.  I think being gracious for the opportunities that we can afford, and not getting overwhelmed and annoyed is a better approach to the situation.  But I constantly think of ways this money might be better used.