The 6 Month Schedule

Here's a helpful template to get you through the six months leading up to your wedding.  Of course, this schedule is a guideline and can be rearranged as you see fit.

 Monthly Schedule of Things to Do

Month 1

• Confirm Location – Ceremony, Cocktails and Reception

Sign Contract and Send Deposit

• Music – Book Ceremony, Cocktails and Reception Music
• Photographer – Sign Contract and Send Deposit
• Videographer – Sign Contract and Send Deposit
• Order Wedding Dress

Get Swatch of Wedding Dress

• Order Save the Date
• Book out of town hotels

Month 2

• Prepare Initial Guest list
• Send Save the Date
• Order Bridesmaids dresses 
• Get Swatch of Bridesmaids dress

• Book Officiant
• Register for gifts
• Reserve Bride and Groom accommodations for Wedding day
• Reserve Rehearsal Dinner Location
• Reserve Brunch Location

Month 3

• Reserve Hair and Make-up
• Order Wedding Invitations
• Order Thank you notes

Month 4

• Centerpiece Sample Set up

Choose Linens, Napkins, Chair covers

Napkin treatment

Discuss Ceremony décor and Personal Florals

                        Choose Charger, Silverware, Glassware, China

• Choose favors if you want them
• Choose seating cards
• Select/order cocktail napkins, guest towels

Month 5

• Food Tasting
• Location walk thru with vendors
• Discuss Event Schedule
• Discuss Hair and Make-up Schedule
• Order Wedding Cake
• Final bookings of honeymoon plans
• Choose rings
• Choose menu for the rehearsal dinner
• Final guest list ready early to mid-November

Invitations sent to calligrapher

Invitations in the mail on mid-November

• Choose Bridesmaid and Groomsmen gifts
• Compile budget for event
• Order Grooms and Groomsmen tuxedos
• Look for rehearsal dinner outfit
• Look for bridal shower outfit
• Buy shoes, start wearing around the house

Month 6

• If you are saying vows start writing thoughts
• Hair and Make-up trials
• Talk about procession for ceremony
• Order Wedding Programs
• Order Printed Menus
• Order Table numbers
• Talk about out of town gifts/welcome baskets
• Approve welcome letter to out of towners
• Send out rehearsal dinner invites
• Order transportation for bride and groom
• Order transportation for out of town guests

• Get the following:

1.    Guest Book

2.    Pen

3.    Garter

4.    Something old

5.    Something new

6.    Something borrowed

7.    Something Blue

8.    Hankie

9.    Unity Candle

10. Kippot/Glass for breaking

Month of Wedding

• Call any guests who have not rsvp’d
• Seating arrangements for wedding reception
• Final Dress Fitting
• Call in final guest event count 5 days before event
• Deliver welcome gifts to out of towners
• Leave everything else to your planner and have fun!

Setting up the Seating

All my recently married friends had one piece of advice for me...start your seating chart early.  The seating chart can easily be pushed aside for later, especially when you have so many other things going on.  But where people sit influences a guest's entire experience, making its mark on his/her memory...whether its good or bad!

One friend told me to get a big piece of poster-board and some small post-its so you can move around the names easily if anyone changes their RSVP.  So, I sat down and made an empty chart (pictured above).  Once you've got your empty tableau, you can just put names on your post-its and shift them around as you see fit.

Balancing Your Budget

So, I have a few friends recently engaged that have been asking for this document....thought I'd share. When making your budget, create a spreadsheet that includes all the costs for your weekend with names, contact information, and prices for your vendors; down payment cost. date the contract was signed, and the date the dp was paid; the balance for your accounts and the date final payment is due;  how and when you made the payments.

To get yourself started be sure to include the following:
VENUE:                                                                                                         
Venue Fee                   
Ceremony Fee
Catering  (per plate, apps, dessert, and cake)
Liquor (bartenders, types of liquor, champagne toast)
RENTALS:
tables
chairs
linens
place settings/glassware
other
LIGHTING:
labor
lights
fire license
FLORAL:
centerpieces
decor
ceremony/altar
bouquet
bridesmaids bouquets
boutineers
 

Accerorize This!

So, the wedding is ten weeks away and the dirty details are starting to really creep up on me...and with it added costs.  For instance, when it comes to what you're wearing for the wedding, there are a bunch of little pieces that can dramatically deepen the cost of your outfit.  So, try and account for these as much as possible early on.

One of the most obvious accessories for the big day is, of course, the veil. Not everyone chooses to go with a veil and if you do there are about a million to choose from.  I think it's really impossible to pick the perfect veil without your dress.  Try them on together and figure out the length and trim that lets the dress and, most importantly, you stand out the most.

Apparently there are a whole host of traditions about the veil, which I had no idea about.  In the Jewish tradition there is an entire ceremony dedicated to the veil called the bedecken.  The bedecken was historically the moment when the groom, or a member of the groom's family, checked out the goods he was getting.  In the ceremony the bride would be seated in a room where the groom's rep would enter and lift the veil to ensure that a) there wasn't a swap out, and b) that the bride was to his liking.  Only then could the marriage continue.  Fortunately, I live in a time and place where the bedecken is unnecessary.

Another important accessory are your shoes.  While there are no special ceremonies surrounding your shoes, there is a more modern tradition of taking plenty of pictures of this particular accessory.  Most brides I've talked to say one thing...get comfortable heels (as comfortable as you can) because even before you change into dance shoes, you are on your feet for hours. 




Many women splurge on shoes and buy pricey designer heels.  Give me an excuse and I'll take it for sure!  Since all my friends are getting married I've gained a few tips from the other brides: 
1) Stay away from Louboutin unless you're already used to wearing them because the pitch becomes unbearable after a few hours on your feet.
2) Buy from Nordstrom's because they'll take ANYTHING back (sometimes even after you've worn them)
3) Order Jimmy Choo's online and not in the store or you'll be stuck with only store credit and no chance for a refund.  And the "Clue" is supposed to be one of the most comfortable wedding shoes.
4) You can always buy one pair for pictures (and return it) and wear a different pair :)

Dressing For Less Deux

lovelybride.com

So I still have been searching for my bridal belt.  Even though I fell in love with Untamed Petals on Etsy, I've been hesitant to hedge my bets, blindly building a belt online.  What if it doesn't fit?  What if the color of the sash is wrong?  What if it just looks better in pictures than it does in person?  And if any of these concerns come true, I've busted my budget and ended up with a bougie belt. 

Randomly, my friend told me about a new little bridal store on Robertson Blvd in L.A.  The Lovely Bride once based only in NYC has opened a small boutique on the West Coast.  I went in with my mom one Sunday and asked to see their collection of bridal accessories.  Looking through the belts, I finally found one that felt right....and of course...it's made by Untamed Petals by Amanda Judge.  Now, I can be properly fitted and find the correct color in person with my dress.  So happy!

And if I hadn't already bought my gown, I think this would be the place to find an affordable, alternative gown without blowing your entire dress budget.  The Lovely Bride has amazing trunk sales and small, hip wedding designers.  Check it out!

Engagement Photos Are In

I think the engagement photo shoot might be a guy's worst nightmare.  At least, for my guy it was.   He was skulking around the house hours before we were supposed to meet our photographer and snapped at me when I told him that his mom suggested he wear a button-down shirt.  In the end, he wore his usual uniform: white v-neck t-shirt, jeans, and converse.

Originally, I was going to wear a red dress from Alice and Olivia.  But, anyone who knows me knows that I hate the color red and just started working it into my wardrobe last year.  When I told my sister about my outfit plans, she gawked and then suggested that I wear something I would be guaranteed to like next year and better still in ten years. And so, the day before the shoot I was rummaging the racks at Bloomie's looking for a suitable alternative. The lesson for both me and him: wear what you're comfortable in because the shoot is awkward enough!

Even though engagement photos are cheesy by nature, and the shoots are more than a little awkward (unless you're a professional model or something), I definitely recommend going through the experience with the photographer. There are a couple of really good reasons:

1) Up until the engagement shoot I was a little worried that I made the wrong decision.  I mean, there are just too many choices out there.  And I was having a little case of buyer's remorse...but once we met the photographers, all my doubts dissipated.  The ladies were super relaxed and made it really easy to just let go and be ourselves.  They also knew exactly what types of shots to take and how to get us as relaxed as possible with each set-up.

2) I can't imagine having never worked with my photographer before and then allowing them into one of the most intimate moments of my life (my wedding).  I mean, there are so many super intimate moments on your wedding day (the first time you see your groom, getting dressed with your girls, having your mom there, walking with your dad/mom, etc.) and it seems to me that it would be best to have someone photographing you who you have at least worked with once before.  I can't imagine some stranger rolling up the day of my wedding and trying to capture my best moments.

As a side note, I have a good friend who opted not to do an engagement shoot before the wedding and ran into some of these exact problems on the day of.  Since she had never met or worked with the photographer before, he had no idea how she and her groom interacted and how best to capture it.  They also felt more awkward having someone they didn't know witnessing their intimate moments before the ceremony and stuff.

The Ketubah

Sorry about the hiatus...but I think when you're planning an event sometimes you just need a break :)

Photo from CultivaStudio.com

Now I'm back and on the hunt for a ketubah.

The ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract.  This document is often an elaborate work of art that includes Hebrew and/or English text.  Originally the contract was negotiated between the bride's father, the rabbi, and the groom. Traditionally, the legal document outlined the financial responsibilities of the groom and the compensations that would be made should the marriage end in divorce. First written over two thousand years ago, the original ketubah document was quite liberal in its small degree of recognition for women's rights. 

Today, the ketubah often reflects an equal commitment by both the groom and the bride and outlines their rights and obligations to and for each other.  It has become a spiritual and symbolic contract, which is signed alongside the state's marriage license.  Typically, the ketubah is signed in a small, intimate ceremony before the actual wedding with at least two witnesses.  

Photo from WeddingBee.com

Finding a ketubah is not an easy feat.  There are actually quite a few websites and stores that sell the documents and there are a number of artists, styles, color palates, designs, and texts.  What's great is that in many cases you can customize your text in both Hebrew and/or English to reflect the values that you and your future spouse share.

Urban Collective at etsy.com

Here are a few websites for finding your perfect ketubah.

Many Jewish brides will tell you that Ketubah.com is the place to go for your wedding ketubah needs.  This website has a plethora of ketubot that are searchable by artists, color, theme, text, and price range. 

I personally prefer Gallery Judaica.  I think they have a better selection of the paper cutout ketubot.

Urban Collective {Modern Ketubot}  on etsy also has some amazing hand-made paper cut out designs.

From Urban Collective at etsy.com